Summer Rain :) zeram@zeram.slashcity.net

******** Disclaimer: I have no claim to them.any of 'em (drat!). Blair and Jim belong to Pet Fly. Johnny, Bruce and Purdy belong to Paramount/Lion's Gate and the GDP universe belongs to Susan Foster who fortunately has let me play in her universe : ) . No money has exchanged hands for this story.

Story 2 -- Reluctant guide, Reluctant Sentinel

By Summer Rain

Prologue

Johnny could see a soft light in front of him just peeking out from underneath the doorway. The door opened slowly and for a moment the light became brighter, almost blinding. It faded away and after his vision had adjusted he looked through the open doorway before him. It was a cozy looking room. There was a small fireplace. There were two chairs in front of the fire set and angle. He gasped as he recognized his mother sitting in the chair. She had died. How could she be here? It was then that it hit him. I am dead or dying, he thought to himself. He felt a momentary pang of grief for the life he would not get to live. The sadness faded away to a sense of peace. It was okay. It was better this way. His life would not have been a life worth living if he were under the control of the GDP.

Here before him sat his mother. She was reading a book before the fire, radiating peace. Isn't this what he had longed for since he had woken from his six year coma? He had wanted to be left in peace. His mother looked up and smiled at him in welcome. He could feel the answering smile blossom on his face and he stepped forward to join her.

Something held him still however. No matter how he tried his legs would not obey his commands to move. He looked back at his mother. She still had her welcoming smile but it was no longer directed at him. She was looking down at his feet. Puzzled, he looked down as well and frowned when he saw a small white rabbit standing next to him. The rabbit looked up at him for a moment and then looked back into the room. It began to scamper forward when suddenly its way was blocked by a large shape streaking by to stop right in the entrance of the doorway.

It now stood right in front of the doorway blocking the rabbit that had almost made it through. Johnny identified the shape as that of the St. Bernard he had seen in the hospital. This time the dog ignored him, staring fixedly at the rabbit. The rabbit began to back away, freezing in its tracks when the dog snarled.

Johnny looked from the rabbit to the dog and back finding that all his empathy lay with the rabbit. He wished he could command his body to move so he could pick up the rabbit and take it to safety. The safest place seemed to be the room with his mother, resting. He was so tired. In there, by the fire, he could rest. He would be safe. He didn't know why but it was very important that the rabbit be in the room too.

"Go into the room" he spoke to the rabbit. "I'll join you when I can." He felt silly not knowing if the rabbit would understand him. Apparently it did because it darted forward sliding underneath the dog's body. His legs finally acknowledged his commands and he too moved toward the room only to be brought up short. Howling filled the air and Johnny was yanked backwards into the nothingness behind him. His last sight of the room was that of the rabbit being yanked back from the threshold of the room to be cradled gently between the St. Bernard's paws.

--End prologue--

Part 1

Johnny woke slowly trying to clear the fuzziness from his vision. He closed his eyes again in frustration. He felt disoriented. Probably because of the latest round of crap they shot into my veins, he thought to himself. The drugs were wreaking havoc with his emotions making them all a jumble of contradictions. The fact that he felt anything at all was bad enough. He had learned over the past couple of months to suppress his emotions. So the question was, why these feelings of sadness, determination and possessiveness?

Possessiveness?

Johnny's eyes popped open as he realized these emotions were not his. He was not alone. A moment later he felt it. A Sentinel. He shivered as a finger trailed down his cheek, downward until it rested at the pulse point at his neck.

He trembled on the bed cursing his unresponsive limbs that didn't allow him to evade this latest threat. He felt the push at his mind and he tried to fight against it, to erect a shield against the invasion but it was no use. He dimly felt a tear roll down his face. He couldn't even preserve his dignity and wipe the tear away. Despair filled him. He felt the pain at the initial foray into his unwilling mind.

His eyes, which had closed, now opened as his face was touched again. At the same time he felt the touch he realized that the attempt at linkage had stopped.

The Sentinel had moved to the head of the bed. The Sentinel's hand, which had moved to rest on top of Johnny's hand, now brushed his cheek. The Sentinel brought his finger to his lips and his tongue darted out to taste his fingertip. Johnny realized with a start that the Sentinel had trailed the path of the lone tear Johnny had been unable to stop. He could see the Sentinel's initial smile of pleasure, at the taste of the tear, turn into a frown. The Sentinel looked back to him gaze once again intent on Johnny's face. He looked frustrated and angry. Johnny cringed. He had learned that it meant trouble when you became the sole focus of a Sentinel's ire.

The Sentinel reached for him and he flinched expecting a blow. Instead he felt a soft touch on his arm, which was lying above the blankets. Johnny's eyes widened as he felt the Sentinel begin to stroke his arm. The Sentinel was *petting* him. Against his better judgment Johnny relaxed into the Sentinel's touch. Between the soft stroking and the drugs in his system Johnny began to feel drowsy again. He felt the link begin to pulse and he opened, cautiously, to it. He had done this before, though usually accompanied by a lot of pain, and he knew how far to open himself. He would link just enough to satisfy the Sentinel while keeping the rest of his mind closed to him so that there would be no bond.

The Sentinel sat on the edge of the bed and continued to stroke his arm and Johnny got more and more drowsy as he felt the link between them strengthening. He tensed for a moment wondering if the link would get past the shields or if the Sentinel would notice the shield. None of the others had noticed but Johnny could tell with some trepidation that this Sentinel was different.

Johnny could only suppose that he had not noticed as of yet since the Sentinel was showing no signs of anger. His gentle petting continued and Johnny was lulled into sleep unaware that the Sentinel had slipped past his shielding.

********

Jim and Blair had been waiting patiently in the hallway. Though curious to know what had happened in the room they knew better than to approach the primal Sentinel therein. Especially a Sentinel who might have just lost a guide. Ever since hearing the loud wail from the room, a half-hour before, they had been discussing what their next move should be. Due to the presence of white noise generators, complements of the GDP, Jim could not hear inside the room. They were afraid to wait much longer however. If the guide was dead then Bruce could even now be in the midst of a zone out. It rankled Jim to admit it but he knew the GDP would *have* to step in if that were the case since they had the expertise to help a guideless Sentinel. Not that they could do much for him but they could at least make him comfortable if he went insane.

The discussion halted when the door to the guide's room opened. Jim scanned the other Sentinel's face giving a sigh of relief when his friend, Bruce, looked back t him. It was a relief to see his friend's humanity reassert itself. Blair looked up at Jim smiling as well. If the Sentinel was not zoning then that meant that the guide was alive. Blair shuddered remembering Purdy's parting words. He knew first hand the evils of the GDP and had a feeling the new guide understood those evils now all too well.

"How is he?" Blair asked Bruce; not at all sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Right now. He's sleeping. I can't tell you his state of mind other than that he was scared and confused." Bruce answered. "I just kind of.came to myself," he added sheepishly.

Jim nodded in understanding knowing very well the disorientation Bruce must be experiencing. "Do we know anything about him?" Bruce asked saddened by the fact he had to ask such a basic question about his new guide.

Jim shook his head. "Not much. There was no record of him besides what the GDP provided today. I don't know if we can trust their information though." Jim answered, his contempt of the GDP clear in his voice.

Bruce nodded and turned to look through the open doorway. "I guess we'll just have to wait until he wakes up." Bruce's hands clenched briefly, as he tried to control his rising anger. He wasn't sure who he was angrier with the GDP or with himself. "Damnit!" His anger got the best of him and he hit the wall with his fist. His anger overriding any pain he may have felt.

"What did they do to him?" he shouted. "What did *I* do to him?" he asked, his shoulders slumping as his anger drained away just as quickly as it consumed him.

"What do you mean Bruce?" Jim asked him.

"I forced him to bond."

"Bruce."

Bruce whipped around to face his friends cutting off their protests. "It's true. We are linked. I know he didn't initiate it. I did! I was primal when we linked. What if I hurt him? What if."

"Bruce, stop!"

The softly spoken command cut through Bruce's words. He looked to see Blair shaking slightly responding to his outpouring of emotion.

"I'm sorry Blair" Bruce apologized. Can I do nothing but cause pain? He wondered. Blair dismissed the apology with a wave of his hand while with the other hand he touched Jim's back needing his shielding. Jim smiled down at his guide and he raised his arm smiling as Blair accepted the unspoken invitation fitting himself against Jim's side. Blair gave a sigh of contentment as Jim held him in a loose one-armed embrace. Blair closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them fixing his friend with a compassionate glare. Only Blair could manage such a contradictory feat Bruce thought to himself with a quick flash of amusement.

"Bruce, I know you're upset right now but you need to look at this from another angle. What do you think would have happened to your guide had you not found and bonded with him?" Blair waited for a moment to see if the impact of the question would sink in. He could tell by the low snarl from his friend that it had. "You got it," he said seriously, "the GDP would have kept him and they would never have let him go until he was irreparably damaged."

"What if it's too late for us?" Bruce whispered.

"It's not Bruce! Commander Purdy so much as told us you would never be able to link with him. The fact that you were able to means there is a chance for you." "Hell the fact that you are no longer primal means you've got a chance," Blair added after a moment.

Bruce nodded but then opened his mouth before quickly snapping it shut.

"Blair. The fact remains that I was primal when I went in there. I more than likely forced him to bond." The thought that his guide might never forgive him pained him.

Silence enveloped them for a moment before Jim turned to his guide. "Blair. Why don't you go in and sit with Bruce's guide?" he said knowing Bruce would be able to tolerate another guide near his guide.

Blair nodded and went in sitting on the chair to the side of the bed. The two Sentinels now stood alone before the room, neither speaking as they gathered their thoughts. Finally Bruce turned to his friend.

"Jim, what if he. I mean we can only imagine what the GDP.," Bruce inhaled sharply, "what if he's."

".broken?" Jim finished for him as Bruce cast about for a word to use.

"Look," Jim began in response to Bruce's nod. "If he's broken you rebuild him. Let him see that he's special. Let him feel that he's more than a guide he is your soul mate," Jim answered looking into the room he smiled softly at his own guide.

"How did you do it?" Bruce asked. He knew Jim would understand. Blair had been abused horribly by the GDP and had been in a bad way before he had bonded with Jim. He knew Blair had wrestled with and was still wrestling with many demons from his ordeal.

"The first and most important step is for you to establish that you can be trusted and that he is safe with you."

"I get the feeling I'm one down in that respect," Bruce countered ruefully.

"You can't change that if that is the case," Jim answered conceding the point, "but you can let him know you are not out to hurt him."

"I would never intentionally hurt him." Bruce responded quickly.

"Good. Now you let *him* know that. Remember though that actions speak louder than words. Just be on the look out. If he's anything like Blair he'll be too scared to ask for what he needs. Show him that it's safe for him to do so."

Bruce nodded and went back into the room. Jim waited at the doorway just outside of his friend's territory. Blair smiled as Bruce approached and vacated his seat going to stand by Jim's side at the doorway.

Blair turned to Jim suddenly. "Jim, Purdy only left because he thought they wouldn't bond. What if he ." his words were cut off as Jim held up one hand. Head cocked to the side as if he were listening for something.

Blair quieted immediately and placed his hand lightly on Jim's shoulder to anchor his Sentinel.

"Shit! I can hear the GDP their heading this way," Jim said.

They were startled out of their conversation by a snarl coming from within the room. Blair immediately focused on Bruce who now stood hunched protectively at the side of his guide ready to attack in defense of his guide.

"Bruce, don't go primal on us man," Jim said softly. "You know this hospital better than we do. We're gonna go hold off the GDP you take your guide and get out of here." Jim watched as Bruce struggled for control but eventually he nodded and turned around. Jim waited just long enough to see that Bruce had gathered Johnny into his arms before he indicated to Blair that they could leave. They headed to intercept the GDP as Bruce took the opportunity to race away with his guide.

End Part 1

Part 2

Johnny opened his eyes slowly. He was reluctant to see what was going on around not wanting to know what hurts would be inflicted on him next. He was lying on a bed. This wasn't so unusual. He had spent the last few months of his life bedridden. What was unusual was the room he was in. He looked around the room growing more and more confused at what he saw. He was on a large bed in an unfamiliar bedroom. Nearby there was a night table with a small lamp. A book lay face down in the table. Across from the bed was a dresser and next to that a small desk. There was a comfortable looking chair in one corner with some clothing draped on top of it. It was all in all a comfortable looking lived in bedroom. For the life of him he couldn't figure out what he was doing in it.

Johnny tried to sift through the memories but it was all a jumble. Images of a St. Bernard kept popping into his head. He also had the image of a man. It was not one of those who had tortured him during his time in the hospital. He felt he should know this man but the face was unfamiliar to him. He grew more and more confused as he tried to figure out who this man could be. Johnny heard a faint sound and he looked to the side. There standing in the doorway was the unknown man from his memories.

********

Bruce had spent the last couple of minutes watching his guide. The other man seemed to be scanning the room though Bruce knew it all had to be unfamiliar to him. His guide had not woken up since being removed from the hospital. He had missed the whole commotion as Jim and Blair moved to intercept the GDP. Bruce hadn't stayed around past the initial moment of raised voices. He had hefted his guide over one shoulder and raced down the stairs and through a side exit. Lady luck was with him as he hopped into a cab that had just dropped off a customer. He had made it home with his guide none the worse for wear despite being carted away from the hospital like a sack of potatoes. That had been three hours ago. In the intervening time Jim had called to assure him they were okay and Bruce had spent the time trying to make his guide more comfortable. He had left the room but had come back to find his guide awake but as yet unaware of his presence.

Bruce shifted slightly and then stilled realizing he had alerted the man on the bed to his presence. He found himself once again speared by the befuddled blue-eyed gaze of his guide. He gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile to his guide staying in his position at the door.

"Hi," the words seemed totally inadequate to expressing his feelings at finally being able to meet his guide. He counted this as their first official meeting. Having been primal before meant that the bonding had been a blur and he was quite sure his guide had been too out of it to know what was going on.

The guide said nothing merely staring at him. Bruce approached the bed slowly giving the other man time to get used to his presence. When he had first brought his guide him one of his first thoughts had been to make his guide as comfortable as possible. For that he needed to get rid of the hospital gown with its foreign scents of other Sentinels who had dared to touch his guide.

He saw the exact moment his guide realized his gown had been removed. He looked down and then his gaze snapped up to meet Bruce's. Bruce imagined he saw all sorts of accusations in that gaze. He couldn't help but think of Blair in that moment. He knew certain members of the GDP wouldn't hesitate to use rape to "correct" a disobedient guide. He did not know whether or not his own guide had been corrected in this manner. He had not had the chance to examine his guide too closely, unsure if he should touch him so intimately without his permission.

He walked forward and stopped at the side of the bed at the obvious flinch from his guide. Something in his gut twisted at the sight of his guide's obvious fear of him.

"You don't have to be afraid I didn't.I would never." Bruce trailed off resisting the urge to touch his guide to soothe him. Judging by the expression on his guide's face he would be anything but soothed by Bruce's touch. "You're safe now. I just changed your clothes so you would be more comfortable." When he got no response he continued. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

The other man did not answer merely looked at him. He did not relax despite Bruce's assurance that he was safe. He doesn't trust me, Bruce thought to himself, saddened. He reminded himself of what Jim said. "Actions speak louder than words."

"I'll just go get you some water. I'll be back in a moment," Bruce said. He left the room noting his guide's sigh of relief as he left. "Don't get too happy. It's only a momentary reprieve," he muttered smiling bitterly at his guide's reaction.

Johnny looked around the room again. He now realized that among the discarded clothes on the chair was his hospital gown. He was now in a robe. The stranger had changed his clothing. This was yet one more person among many in the past few months who had seen his body without his consent. Though he had been avoiding it until this moment he decided to use his time wisely.

He began to catalogue the sensations from his body. He had the usual aches and pains. His face hurt from the most recent blows he had received. His leg had never stopped hurting since he had awoken from his coma and he knew it would be no different now. He moved his arms surprised to feel he was not restrained. Finally he took a deep breath and shifted slightly trying to detect any answering pain or soreness from his nether region. Thankfully there was none. He knew better than to celebrate. The fact was that he was virtually helpless and should the stranger decide he wanted Johnny in that way there was nothing he could do to stop him. He had been threatened and beaten enough to know that no one could be trusted. Johnny watched as the stranger approached the bed carrying the promised cup of water.

"Can you lift the cup?" Bruce asked unsure how much arm and hand mobility and strength his guide possessed. Johnny didn't answer and Bruce set the cup on the table stepping closer to his guide. "You're going to need to answer," Bruce pointed out. "If you don't answer I'll need to assume you can't lift the cup. I would have to raise you up to drink it and that would require touching you." Bruce paused noting the tensing of his guide's body. "I don't think that's something you want so I'll ask you again. Can you lift the cup on your own?"

At his guide's hesitant nod he smiled in reassurance and placed the half full cup in his guide's hand. Bruce was careful not to touch his guide's hand as he passed him the cup.

Johnny raised the cup slowly to his lips all the while watching the stranger out of the corner of his eye. He fully expected the man to snatch the cup from his grasp before he got to drink. It had happened many times before during his captivity and he couldn't see how now would be any different. The other man moved to the foot of the bed as if sensing Johnny's nervousness.

Bruce waited until Johnny had drained the liquid in the cup before he spoke. "My name is Bruce".

Johnny set the cup down on the nightstand next to him and waited. The carefully blank expression on his face caused Bruce to smile slightly. "I'd like to know your name." he said quietly.

Johnny looked at him quizzically. Could this be some sort of trick? Every GDP officer who had visited him had known his name. They had in fact known things about him that he would never have willingly shared with a stranger. Could it be a trick just to try to get him to talk? Johnny tensed as this thought occurred to him.

Bruce watched the blank expression on the other man's face and tried to wait for him to speak. He looked closer and had to repress a smile. The other man in front of him was being careful to control his facial expression but there was nothing he could do to control the emotion in his eyes. In them Bruce could see the confusion and fear the older man was trying so hard to hide. He moved closer wanting instinctively to place a hand on his guide's arm but stopped when the guide cringed away from him.

The blond man tried to turn away his movements hampered by his unresponsive legs. Bruce grasped his arm to hold him in place, afraid that his guide might hurt himself.

Johnny froze when the other man grasped his left arm. Would he be punished for something that wasn't his fault? With his right hand he gestured to his throat shaking his head frantically. He saw the exact moment the realization dawned on the other man.

"You can't talk?" The question was asked hoarsely as if his companion was having his own problems speaking. At the minute shake of his head the hand on his arm tightened for a moment before releasing him.

Johnny tried to catch his breath as the other man turned away to rummage through a desk set against the far wall. When he turned back around he held pen and paper out to Johnny who accepted both items warily as if unsure what to make of them.

"Can you write down your name for me?" The question was asked softly but Johnny still hesitated. His name was no longer his having been used interchangeably with "garbage", "whore" or "guide". The last said in a disdainful tone somehow making it a worse insult than anything else they had called him.

"It's okay. Please write it. I want to know what to call you," Bruce said softly.

Johnny wrote his name slowly glad that he still had the ability to do so. He had practiced his writing early on in his convalescence. The lessons had stopped when Commander Purdy had taken away his therapies as "punishment for his obstinacy". The beatings had been further punishments for his transgressions whether real or imagined. Their sessions would go on for hours and Johnny had screamed his throat raw in the process. He had grown more and more hoarse until eventually his screams had turned silent. If he ever did try to speak voluntarily he would be immediately punished. He had eventually given up on trying to speak. He had in fact given up on life, coming to the conclusion that Commander Purdy would never let him go.

He couldn't walk and he could no longer communicate. The only escape he envisioned was death. He had begun to hope that Commander Purdy would go too far one day in one of his sessions and kill him.

It was at this low point that the dreams had begun. They never made very much sense to him and were always half forgotten by the time he woke up. The drugs in his system did not help his befuddled mind. The only things that stayed with him were the images of various animals.

He often saw a wolf, a panther, a St. Bernard and a rabbit. The animals moved in and out of his dreams and nightmares with no apparent purpose. There was comfort in their presence however, particularly the dog, whose presence seemed to dispel his most horrific nightmares. Johnny's eyes widened as he realized he had seen the St. Bernard again. He remembered now waking up briefly in the hospital room the image of the St. Bernard mingling with that of the man in front of him. What could it all mean?

Bruce walked to the head of the bed positioning himself so he could read the writing. "Johnny. Your name is Johnny?" he asked wanting to make sure he had deciphered the somewhat shaky writing correctly. "It's a good name for my guide," he said smiling at his companion at the small nod.

At the words Johnny's heart began to hammer in his chest. A guide. He was this man's guide. Did this mean he now belonged to this man? Johnny had never been more scared. If he could believe Commander Purdy Bruce now owned him body and soul. In his debilitated state Johnny would be hard pressed to defend himself against him. He was now this man's possession. At least the GDP wanted him relatively healthy and coherent enough to experiment on. What was this man's motivation? He shook his head frantically. No this must be a trick.

"It's true Johnny, search within. You will feel the bond," Bruce said. Against his better judgment Johnny did as told. There he felt it. There was a fragile connection between him and the Sentinel. Even as he became aware of it he could feel it growing stronger.

Bruce watched as his guide began to shake violently. He grasped Johnny's hand and spoke. "Johnny I'm not going to hurt you." His words had no effect and he cursed loudly watching the trembling turn into shaking. He released his guide's hand and moved away sitting on the chair at the desk.

"Johnny," he began, just loud enough for his guide to hear him. There was no response from his frantic guide.

"Johnny!" This time Bruce spoke more forcefully his voice just short of a shout.

"Johnny, look at me." He waited for his guide to follow his instructions before continuing, "I'm over here by the desk Johnny. I'm not touching you in any way." He watched carefully his heart lifting as he saw some of the shaking subside. "Yes Johnny it's safe. You're safe."

Wary eyes connected with his at his words the body trembling only slightly now. His guide opened his mouth to speak grimacing when no sound came out. Bruce watched as Johnny wrote something shakily on the paper. Suddenly he paused and began to erase the words frantically his trembling increasing.

Bruce stood again and approached his guide. The frantic erasing ceased and Johnny stilled, clutching the pencil tightly in his hand. Bruce reached forward, slowly, plucking the paper from Johnny's grip. Ironically the presence of his guide is what allowed Bruce's sight to sharpen and hone in on the impressions the erased words had left on the paper.

"Don't want to guide," Bruce read aloud what Johnny had written. The Sentinel looked up only to see Johnny pressed back against the headboard watching him warily.

The need to comfort his guide enveloped him just as the need to link with him clawed at Bruce. He refrained unwilling to force another linkage. Bruce's lips tightened into a thin line. He was frustrated and he struggled not to show it. He needed this man and hoped for the kind of connection he saw between Jim and Blair. He also knew however that the trust between the two men had taken time to build, as Blair had needed time to rebuild his shattered self. Jim had not given up on Blair and Bruce drew inspiration from that knowing that he could not give up on his own guide.

He could turn his guide into a mindless pet to satisfy his own needs but that was not what he wanted. He wanted a true Sentinel-guide relationship, a soul bond, where both could contribute and thrive in the relationship. He just had to make sure that Johnny saw that it was okay to want that too.

He wouldn't give up on this man, someone he already considered a soul mate. Johnny needed him whether or not he admitted it. No one could get in the way of their destiny as Sentinel and guide not the GDP and not Johnny himself. Bruce made a conscious effort to lighten his expression. He bent forward placing the paper on the night stand seemingly ignoring the flinch from his guide at his movement. It was clear Johnny expected to be punished for what he had written.

Bruce straightened and after a moment spoke to his guide slowly and clearly so that there would be no misunderstandings. "I would never hit you just for stating an opinion Johnny." He waited until he had caught Johnny's gaze before he continued. "That being said I must emphasize that you *are* my guide. I know it's not what you want and I know you don't trust me but we are destined for one another. I will do everything in my power to gain your trust." He lightly touched Johnny's hand, quickly, before Johnny could draw away. "Sometimes things don't happen as we expect but we will work this out Johnny, you will see you can trust me."

Bruce's next words were laced with determination. "You *are* my guide and I am not giving up on you," and with that Bruce walked out leaving behind a guide who was not sure whether he had just been reassured or threatened.

--End Story 2--