Facing Fear:

by DustyP

 

 

 

Blair hefted his backpack more securely over his left shoulder, his  fingers holding tightly to the worn leather strap...

He could do this. Yes? Yes!

 

The building was only a building...made of bricks and mortar...

Well, that took care of the building... he wasn't afraid of the building... what was waiting for him inside - that was the problem... a problem he had to face.

 

Taking a deep breath, he ran his free hand over his hair and took a  small step forward, not even aware of the people who pushed passed  him through  the swinging plate glass doors.

The glass of the door felt like ice, or maybe it was the sweat pooling in his palm that made it feel so cold.

Come on Sandburg... move your feet... that's right, left, then right ... good, he was moving, albeit very slowly towards his nightmare.

 

 He stopped, feeling sick to his stomach.

 

He couldn't do this.... he just couldn't face it.

 

Maybe he would try again tomorrow...or the next day...maybe next year...yes, that would be much better.

It was much too soon...

 

No! He stopped himself from turning round.

 

This was the fourth time in as many weeks he'd decided to face his fear...up until now, he hadn't got through the entrance... now he was actually inside, so this was really a step forward... he giggled at the pun,  then bit his lip, afraid he would sound hysterical to anyone listening.

 

He lifted his head and peered at the milling crowd, no-one seemed to be taking any notice of him.

Good. At least he hadn't made a fool of himself - yet.

 

Another step forward, another pause...then he was suddenly surrounded by a small group of people, talking animatedly as they hurried across the marble floor, taking their unwilling victim with them.

 

Blair dug in his heels, trying to stop his forward momentum, but his  rubber-soled sneakers slid across the smooth surface, and suddenly he was there...

 

Behind that door with the big number 4 prominently displayed, was the stuff of nightmares ... the nightmare he'd been living with for almost two months... waking up, drenched in sweat, his heart hammering in his heaving chest, as he fought to stay quiet so as not to disturb his partner sleeping upstairs... the screams of terrified people still ringing in his ears.

 

Rooted to the spot, he watched in silent horror as flashing lights descended at an even rate - then a loud ping, and the smooth metal doors swung open to reveal the interior of a brightly lit elevator...

 

People began to push against his back, as they tried to enter.

 

Bair pushed back, trying to turn, his panic escalating, he fought to stay where he was... not even hearing the muttered curses  and exclamations of annoyance as the crowd moved round him to gain access to the  lift.

 

Suddenly, the pressure against his body stopped, and the metal doors  closed.... and with a frustrated, but relieved sigh, Blair turned and walked out of the Wilkinson Tower.

 

He would have to try again some other day...

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

November 2004

(c) DustyP