ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: Thank you, thank you, thank you-to Wolfshy. And to all of
you who wrote me and gave me encouragement on my stories. Your kind words mean a
lot.
SPOILERS: Yep! Lots of them.
italics: Depicts actual dialogue from show.
SUMMARY: Blair has amnesia and Jim helps him remember.
Jim Ellison pulled into the hospital parking lot and quickly found a place to park. He grunted in approval when he noted that it was close to the hospital entrance. Blair would not have far to walk.
Jim grabbed the bag of clothes that he had brought for his partner and quickly exited the truck. He strolled purposely toward the front door, intent on his mission. Today was the day that his Guide would be returning home. It had been five days since he and Simon had found the anthropologist, brutally attached by some unknown assailant and dumped on the side of the road. Blair had been in horrific pain at the time and had to be kept sedated for a while.
When he had come to, he had no memory of what had happened. In fact, he had no memory whatsoever. It had been hard for Jim to see the normally intelligent blue eyes fill with confusion and fear. Blair had not recognized Jim or Simon and when he realized he didn't remember his own name, he had panicked and had to be sedated once more.
Jim entered the elevators and punched the third floor button. He leaned back against the elevator wall and let his thoughts drift back over the last few days.
Though Blair did not remember Jim, he had responded to his voice and touch during his more lucid moments.
It was on the third day that Jim had awaken to find bright blue eyes peering
at him through disheveled curls.
"Well, hello," he grinned over at the young man. "How are you feeling?"
"My head hurts," came the whispered response.
Jim arose from his chair and went to stand beside the bed.
"I know," he slowly placed his hand against the younger man's cheek. He had learned to approach his Guide slowly; any sudden moves sent the young man into a panic. "You took a pretty bad blow to the head."
Blair blinked at him and then licked his lips. "I'm thirsty," he crooked. "Can I have a drink?"
"Sure can. Hang on a minute," Jim moved over to the bedside table, noting that Blair watched his every move. He poured a little water into the glass and returned to his partner's side. "Here you go."
Jim lifted the young man's head and placed the straw against his lips. Blair pulled the cool water into his mouth, closing his eyes in ecstasy as the cool refreshing liquid slid down his dry throat.
This simple task exhausted him however and he was breathless when he finished.
"Thank you," his voice was stronger.
"You're welcome," Jim said as he returned the glass to the table. "Do you need me to call the nurse?"
"No, thank you," the tone was polite.
"Chief…" Jim began.
"I'm sorry," Blair interrupted. "I know that..I mean, I should know you...Right?"
Jim's heart sank when he realized that his friend still did not remember him.
"It's okay, Blair," Jim reassured him when he saw that Blair was getting agitated. "You remember Dr. Bryce?"
"Yeah, she was here when I first woke up, wasn't she? She's my doctor, isn't she?"
"Yeah. Well, she said it wasn't uncommon for a person to have memory loss with the kind of head injury that you have," Jim said.
"What kind of injury?"
"Well, you took a couple of blows to the head and it was a little more than that brain of yours could take. You had some swelling in your head and a little clot formed."
"I'm sorry," Blair said.
"Hey, hey. Don't apologize. I'm just glad that you decided to wake up for a while," Jim patted his friend's arm.
"How long...I mean.....when did I get hurt?" Blair's brow wrinkled in confusion.
"Oh, a couple of days ago," Jim waved his hand in the air. "Don't worry about it. The doctor says you're going to be fine."
"Are we...um...I mean...are we family?"
"We're partners," Jim corrected.
"Partners?" Blair's eyes began to droop. "Partners?" he repeated.
"Yeah, partners," Jim smiled at his friend.
"Partners in what?" the voice was a whisper.
"I'm a cop," Jim said, watching as the eyes struggled to stay open.
"Cop?" a look of disbelief crossed the young man's face. "I'm a cop?"
"No, I'm a cop," Jim said, then smiled again as his Guide lost the struggle
and succumbed to sleep. "Rest, Chief."
The elevator doors opened, snapping Jim back to the present. He quickly walked down the hall toward his partner's hospital room.
"Mr. Ellison," a voice halted him and he turned back toward the nurse's station.
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad I caught you. Dr. Bryce is with Mr. Sandburg right now," the nurse said. "She said to wait for her in the waiting area." She pointed toward a small alcove that housed several chairs. "She wanted to speak with you alone before you took Mr. Sandburg home."
"Did she say about what?" Jim asked with a frown.
"No, she just said she wanted to speak with you."
"Oh. Okay," Jim shrugged and then moved over to the waiting area and sat down.
He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, turning up his hearing, he concentrated on the activities going on in room 311.
"There, that should do it," Dr. Bryce's voice drifted toward him.
"Will it be okay to wash my hair?" Blair's voice was hesitant.
"That won't be a problem. All the stitches are out now and the wound is healing nicely," the doctor assured. "Are you glad to be going home?"
"I guess," Jim stiffened at the uncertainty in his friend's tone.
"You guess?" Dr. Bryce questioned. "You're not sure?"
"It's just..." There was a long pause.
"Just what, Blair?"
"Well.......I don't know.....where," Blair paused again. "I mean...I know this room."
"You're comfortable here, in other words," the doctor finished for him. "It's okay, Blair."
"Comfortable, yeah, that's it," Blair agreed.
"And you're a little scared to leave here, right?"
"A little I guess," came the confirmation.
"And Jim? Are you afraid of him?"
Jim's chest tightened when he did not hear a response right away.
"No. I mean...not of him...just maybe the situation."
The tightness eased somewhat, but Jim was alert to the reasoning of his partner's fear.
"What situation, Blair?" Dr. Bryce's voice was soft.
"I can't remember him...or anything about, you know, before. He says we are friends and......" Blair hesitated for a moment.
"And?" the doctor prompted.
"And I feel safe with him.....but," the voice held a tremor.
"But what?"
"I think it hurts him when I can't remember anything."
"And that upsets you?" the doctor asked.
"I guess," was the response.
"Do you want to go home with Jim? Or do you want me to try to make other arrangements?"
Jim stiffened once more when he heard the doctor's question, ready to barge into the room and give the doctor a piece of his mind regarding her suggestion, but Blair's answer had him relaxing again.
"No....I mean.....he helps......" Blair's voice trailed off.
"Blair, it's okay to talk to me."
"You'll think it's silly."
"Maybe not."
"When my head.....I mean, he helps.....when it hurts, he can touch my head and then.....well the pain's not so bad."
Jim took a shuddering breath when he heard his partner's revelation.
"I'm glad, Chief," he whispered to himself.
"I don't think that's silly," Dr. Bryce reassured him. "Jim cares for you a great deal."
"I just wish I could remember, you know?"
"Don't force it, Blair. If you are going to regain your memory, you need to let it come naturally."
"And if I don't?" the soft voice was filled with fear. "Regain my memory, that is."
"Then you will start fresh," was the simple reply.
Jim relaxed further and turned down his hearing. He felt a twinge of guilt at eavesdropping on his partner. But he was also filled with pride at the words. Even though his Guide held no memory of the Sentinel, the unspoken trust was still evident.
He leaned his head back against the wall. He closed his eyes and gave a weary sigh. The past few days had been long and tiring and he would be glad to get his partner home where they both could get uninterrupted rest.
*******************************
Dr. Bryce found Jim napping in the waiting area and shook him awake.
"Oh, sorry, Dr. Bryce," he sat up. "I guess I'm a little tired."
"That's okay, Jim," she waved off his apology and took a seat next to him.
"My partner ready to go home?" he asked.
"I think so. I took his stitches out and gave him some last minute instructions."
"Is he alright?"
"I had them do another MRI earlier, just after you left. And I just received the results," Dr. Bryce explained as she consulted the chart she held in her hands.
"Another one?" Jim frowned. This made the third scan that the doctor had done, and Jim was getting decisively nervous. "Is there a problem?"
"No. No problem, Jim. I just wanted to be sure," she assured him. "I do want him to continue to take the medication for a few more weeks, however."
"But no problems?"
"I don't think we will have anymore problems, there was no evidence of anymore clotting or swelling. But I want him to continue taking them as a prophylactic measure."
"Will do," Jim assured.
"Here are his prescriptions and his discharge instructions," the doctor handed Jim a large envelope.
"He's ready, then?"
"Yes, the nurses are finishing up his paperwork now," the doctor paused, then gave her full attention to the detective. "There is one more thing.
"What is it?"
"I don't know if the amnesia is permanent or not, Jim. I told Blair and now I'm telling you. Don't force it. If his memory returns, let it come naturally. I don't want him upset. It could be dangerous," Dr. Bryce instructed.
"Dangerous?" Jim asked.
"You know I was concerned about his blood pressure," the doctor said, then continued at Jim's curt nod. "Though it is not as high as it was, it is still higher than I'm comfortable with. And any upset could cause it to rise. Do I have to tell you how dangerous that is?"
Jim shook his head. "No, you don't," He remember the horrific pain that his friend had endured the past few days. He tapped the envelope in his hands. "You've given him something for the pain, though, haven't you?"
"Yes, but according to Blair, your touch works better than the pills," Dr. Bryce smiled at him.
"My touch?" Though Jim had overheard the conversation, he pretended ignorance.
"I'll let Blair explain that to you," She said as she patted his arm.
"Dr. Bryce?"
"Yes?"
"Getting back to the memory thing," Jim began. "What if he asks questions or if he does remember something?"
"If he asks, tell him. Let him determine the pace. Just don't force it," the doctor said. "And above all, try to keep him calm."
"Do you," Jim cleared his throat. "Do you think he will regain his memory?"
"I think there is a good possibility. I think his memory of you is just beneath the surface," she reassured the detective.
"What do you mean?" Jim frowned, not quite sure what the doctor was saying.
"Trust."
"Trust?"
"He trusts you, Jim. He is not quite sure why yet, but he does," she explained, then offered the man a smile. "Now, go see your partner."
Jim's whole countenance lit up in a smile. "Thank you."
**************************
Jim pulled up in front of the pharmacy and put the truck in park. He glanced over at the young man in the passenger seat and smiled.
"I'm going to run in here and get your medicine, okay Chief?"
"Okay."
"Can I get you anything?"
"Um, I'm a little thirsty, I guess," Blair sent a bashful look toward the older man.
"Tell you what, I'll turn in these prescriptions and then I'll bring you something," Jim opened the door and stepped out. "You want something cool or hot?"
"It doesn't matter," Blair shrugged.
"How about some juice?"
"That'd be okay, I guess."
"Okay, be right back," Jim closed the door. "Turn the heat up if you get too cold," he called through the window.
Blair nodded and watched as Jim strolled into the pharmacy. He sighed and leaned his head against the back of the seat. His head was beginning to throb again and weariness was beginning to tug at him. He couldn't help the nervousness that permeated through him.
Jim had said they would be home soon. Blair frowned as he strove to remember where home was, but it only caused his head to pound more. His whole life was a blank slate and he was filled with uncertainty when he thought about where he would go from here and what he would do with the rest of his life if his memory did not return. Dr. Bryce had instructed him to take it one day at a time, but he had to admit that he was still scared.
He jumped when the driver's side door opened and Jim hopped in the truck.
"OH!" he gasped.
Jim glanced over at him, his eyes filled with worry. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay," Blair said. "Just startled me, I guess."
"Sorry," Jim laid a calming hand on Blair's knee. "You look like you are in pain."
"My head hurts a little," Blair returned.
"Here, I got you some apple juice," Jim handed him a bottle of cool juice. He pulled out a small white packet from his shirt pocket and unfolded it. "Here, take one of these, too."
"What is it?"
"Dr. Bryce gave it to me. Said it would tide you over until I could get your medicine filled," Jim informed.
"Thanks," Blair took the pill and quickly swallowed it with the juice. "Um, that tastes good." He said as he let the cool liquid trickle down his throat.
Jim smiled at him and then put the truck in gear and backed out of the parking space. "I had to leave your prescriptions," he explained. "They said they would deliver them later."
"Oh, okay," Blair said and looked out the window.
"You doing okay?" Jim sent a concerned glance over his way.
"I guess I'm a little tired," the young man whispered.
"We only have a couple of more miles to go, Chief and then we'll be home,
Jim assured. "You've earned a good long nap."
"Nap?"
"Yep, soon as we get home, we'll get you tucked into your own bed," Jim said.
"Tucked in?" Blair looked at him in astonishment.
"You bet!"
"You're kidding, right?"
"Whatever it takes, partner."
The soft laugh that came from the young man filled the Sentinel with hope and happiness. It was a Sandburg laugh and when he glanced over, he saw blue eyes filled with gentleness.
Jim gave a contented sigh. Blair was still in there somewhere and he was
determined to be the guide in this mission. He gave a soft chuckle. He would
guide his Guide home.